It’s the stuff of movies. The middle-aged dad loses it. He becomes dissatisfied with his job, his wife, and life in general, so he goes out and buys a new red convertible and has an affair. Not a pretty picture.
It’s no wonder the phrase “midlife crisis” has taken on a negative connotation. But psychologists have decided it’s time for a change. Gone are the days of the midlife crisis. Now, you’ll be entering your midlife transition. Unlike the crises in movies, midlife changes aren’t always a bad thing.
What exactly is a midlife transition and is it normal? When should you seek help? Read on to learn the answers.
Midlife Crisis Defined
This stage of life usually occurs sometime between the ages of 37 and 60. A lot of major life changes tend to take place during these ages: children are leaving the home, graduating from college, or getting married; parents pass away; or people reach certain age milestones (40, 50, 60) and start feeling old.
These are often the catalysts for a normal transition into a new phase of life. Some people take these changes in stride, while others have a difficult time accepting the new norm. This is when a crisis may occur. The middle-lifer becomes depressed around the time of major life changes and acts out on his or her depression in various ways. Known as a midlife crisis, it’s important to get help when depression sets in.
Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. – William D. Tammeus
Men vs. Women
Both men and women are susceptible to a midlife transition, but the symptoms are often different. While the stereotype of a man going through a midlife crisis may be impulsively buying a red convertible and leaving his wife, thankfully it doesn’t always happen that way. These midlife changes often find men searching for a new identity. Their lives are half over and there may be areas of life they wish they had done differently. They may feel discontent in their vocation or feel a lack of respect from the community. Depression is common and can lead to rash or unusual behaviors.
Women, on the other hand, more often find their purpose and affirmation through relationships. As midlife approaches, many women begin to evaluate their roles as mother, wife, and friend. They may have past regrets or miss the way things used to be, feelings that may lead to depression. Women may try to fill an empty void with shopping, escaping into romance novels, or switching jobs.
Make It Positive
Rather than letting midlife changes lead to depression, many adults are able to look with hope to the future. Life may be different and yes, there may be things they wish were different, but life isn’t over yet.
Some adults take this time to go back to school, get back into exercise, travel, spend time with grandkids, or volunteer. This is a time in life to do things they weren’t able to do while kids were in the house, and life is good!
However, adults at this stage of life need support from their spouse and loved ones in order to avoid a life crisis—even when it seems everything is peachy.
When It Becomes a Crisis
For many people, midlife changes lead to depression and irrational or abnormal behaviors. These changes can be seen and corrected, so be on guard for the following symptoms in yourself or loved ones: fatigue, anxiety, irritability, loss of appetite, feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, and loss of interest in enjoyable activities.
Clinical depression is a medical condition that must be addressed for the brightest outcome. A combination of medication and therapy has the best success in combating depression, and one size treatment doesn’t fit all.
By keeping an eye out for all that middle life offers, you can make this time of life the best yet!
